Polystyrene Cups

Michael Jackson is to be recycled into polystyrene cups, so kids can still put their lips around his rim

Tour Going Ahead

Michael Jackson’s UK tour will still go ahead as planned.

A spokesman said “So much of Michael was saved by the doctors after his surgical procedures that we are confident of being able to put something together.”

Citizenship

MJ Newswire - California authorities are questioning the citizenship of pop icon Michael Jackson. In a statement released by the Los Angeles coroner's office, Dr. Icut Emup stated "During the autopsy of Mr Jackson we discovered several imprints on various body parts. Among these imprints were the words Made In China, Made in Taiwan, and Fabricado en Mexico."

State authorities are refusing to release the body until undisputable proof of Jackson's origin can be secured. One state official speculated that the court might order Jackson's remains to be divided and returned to the various countries of origin."We're just not sure at this point,"

Captain Ima Cop stated. "It's quite possible that these foreign manufactuers might refuse to accept his remains." An anonymous source in the coroners office hinted that Jackson's death was probably caused by stress fatigue of the foreign made plastic components.

Face Transplant

Groceries

Q: What was the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A: One was white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in.

Recycling

Authorities cannot decide wether to bury his body in a wood box or put it into a yellow wheelie bin for plastic recycling

Melting

I heard they were going to melt Michael Jacksons body down and make plastic toys so kids could play with him for a change